8. I'M GROTESQUE

 

When I was in Jr High and yet to hit puberty, I skillfully pretended to be my mother and called in sick for over a month.

I did it for no other reason than my acne riddled, facial complexion made me ashamed of my appearance and I just couldn't bear the thought of being made fun of.

Surprisingly, I never got caught by either my parents or the school.

However ...

God punished me for this by cursing me with a face that repelled girls all throughout my Jr high and high school years.

The prettier the girl was, the more abhorrent I appeared to her.

Heck, even the ugly girls thought I was too ugly for them to associate with.

P.S.

It should come as no surprise when I confess to losing my virginity to an escort.

It was one the worst experiences of my life ...

It ended in blood, vomit, tears, and a missing wallet.